At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
