And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
