Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
