And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Randomize
