hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
