Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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