If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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