If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Everclear isn't food dammit
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
