i jhust puked up my retainher.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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