You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
