can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
