is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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