I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
