so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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