All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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