Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
