If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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