Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
false alarm, still single
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
