A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
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