So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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