Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
