he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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