i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
