She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
