just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
