whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
