so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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