Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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