hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
