make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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