I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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