Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
