you guys were way drunker than both of me
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
do nipples grow back?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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