Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
