How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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