it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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