I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you mean i was at the winter classic?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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