i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
