just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize