Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
