I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
