maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
