And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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