dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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