Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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