if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
