I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
false alarm. still invincible.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize