I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
