rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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