Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
