literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
