Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
