3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
