You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
