Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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