everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
