census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
