the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
