My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
