Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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